I’m the ‘why’ guy. I want to know why you do what you do.
Summarised by: Ishaqibrahim
I believe that the invisible force of internal drive, activated, is the most important thing. I’m here because I believe emotion is the force of life. It’s wonderful to think intellectually about how the life of the world is, especially those who are very smart can play this game in our head. But I really want to know what’s driving you.
01:36 Explore where you are today, for two reasons:
⦁ So that you can contribute more
⦁ We can appreciate people more and make connections that help us solve our challenges
What makes the difference in the quality of people’s lives? What in their performance?
I look at life and say there are two master lessons:
⦁ We have mastered the science of achievement
⦁ But one thing people have rarely mastered is the art of fulfillment
Because science is easy, right? We know the rules, you write the code and you get the results. But when it comes to fulfillment – that’s an art. It’s about appreciation and contribution.
03:32 I’ve had a laboratory investigate how somebody’s life changes if you’ve given everything to them. There are some people who end up the rest of their life with all this love, education, money and background and going in and out of rehab.
Some people have been through ultimate pain, psychologically, sexually, spiritually, emotionally abused – and not always, but often, they become some of the people that contribute the most to society.
04:08 Most of society thinks biography is destiny. We’ve got to remind ourselves that decision is the ultimate power.
If you ask people, why didn’t you achieve something? They tell you they didn’t have the knowledge, didn’t have the money, didn’t have the time, and didn’t have the technology. But that is not the defining factor.
05:56 The defining factor is never resources; it’s resourcefulness. If you have emotion, human emotion, you can get yourself to do anything. If you’re creative, playful, fun enough, you can get through to anybody. This is the ultimate resource.
07:28 What determines your resources? Three decisions:
⦁ What will you focus on?
⦁ Is this the end or the beginning?
⦁ Is God punishing me or rewarding me, or is this the roll of the dice?
The history of our world is these decisions. When a woman stands up and says, “No, I won’t go to the back of the bus.” She didn’t just affect her life. That decision shaped our culture.
09:09 What shapes you?
State. It isn’t your ability; it is your state. Your model of the world is what shapes your long term. It makes people make decisions.
To influence somebody, we need to know what already influences them, which includes the following:
⦁ What is their target? What are they after?
⦁ What is their map of the world? What is the belief system that tells them how to achieve their targets?
10:10 I believe there are six human needs:
Everyone needs the certainty that they can avoid pain and be comfortable. But while we go for certainty, if we get total certainty, what would we feel? We would feel bored out of our minds.
We need variety. We need a surprise.
We all need to feel important, special, and unique. You can get significance a million ways, but to be significant, you’ve got to be unique and different.
⦁ Connection and love.
We all want it; most settle for connection because love’s too scary. But the truth is, we need it. We can do it through intimacy, friendship, prayer, through walking in nature.
13:01 These first four needs, every human finds a way to meet. I call them the needs of the personality. The last two are the needs of the spirit. And this is where fulfillment comes. You won’t get it from the first four.
⦁ You must grow.
If you’re not growing, you feel like hell. I believe the reason we grow is so we have something to give of value.
⦁ Contribute beyond ourselves.
The secret to living is giving. We all know life is not about me, it’s about we.
14:32 My father always said, “No one gives a shit.” And now somebody I don’t know, is just giving us food, looking out for us. It made me believe this: strangers care. And that made me decide if strangers care about me and my family, I care about them. I’m going to do something to make a difference.
15:11 I’m proud to tell you last year we fed 2 million people in 35 countries through our foundation. All during the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, in different countries around the world.
15:38 Here’s what is different about people. We have the same needs. But are you a certainty freak, is that what you value the most, or uncertainty? What your lead system is tilts you in a different direction. As you move in a direction, you have a destination.
The second piece is the map. The operating system that tells you how to get there. Some people say “I’m going to save lives even if I die for other people,” and they’re a fireman, and somebody else says “I’m going to kill people to do it.” They’re trying to meet the same need of significance, but they have a different map.
16:22 The last piece is emotion. How many of you know somebody who, no matter what happens, finds a way to get pissed off? Or no matter what happens, they find a way to be happy or excited?
20:52 My invitation to you is: explore your web – the needs, beliefs, the emotions that are controlling you, for two reasons:
⦁ So there’s more of you to give
⦁ So you can appreciate what’s driving other people.
It’s the only way our world is going to change.
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